We now live in a society where we can communicate with others.
On Facebook, to be precise.
On Instagram, to be specific.
By email.
Regarding text messaging.
Back in the good old days, which I keep harping on about, and not just because I’m an old man.
It was because you didn’t have much contact with people back then.
The phrase “lose your number” was popular in the 1980s and 1990s. When someone didn’t like you or respond to you, my friends and I would sit around and say, “lose her number, man, she’s not interested.” “lose your phone number”
And you’d had it with that person. You would never contact them again. You’d ignore them and go meet someone else.
The issue with modern dating is that we have easy access to people.
People no longer call people so they don’t lose the number; instead, they save phone numbers. We didn’t save numbers with that cordless phone with the metal antenna back in the 1980s or 1990s because there was nowhere to save them. It was all done on scraps of paper.
Alternatively, everything was on a master sheet or phone book.
However, you can now have someone on your phone at all times. You can literally go through your phone at night and think, man, I’d love to go out with her again.
It allows you to stay well by pretending to be connected to someone and thinking that you might be able to reconnect or recycle that relationship.
The days of “losing your number” are over because we now save all of our numbers.
You have a lot of those people sitting in your phone book right now. But you must recognize that this does not give you the right to contact them repeatedly.
I’ve previously addressed the issue of stalking. That doesn’t mean you can’t text someone and say, hey, how are you?
What’s going on in your life right now?
Maybe we should meet up again.
You know, or an authentic text of hey, the last time we went out, I was really in a bad place and I found you really interesting except I had too much going on work-wise and everything and now things have calmed down and I’d like to get to know you again.
You may reapply in this manner.
However, too many people send too many messages to people who are no longer interested.
They will send an email, a text message, and contact you through Instagram. It’s ridiculous how many times people try to contact people again.
Should you EVER text your ex-girlfriend?
When you go out with someone and the relationship doesn’t work, there’s a reason why two people have moved on.
And, as I previously stated, there are a few qualifiers. There are several possible explanations for why it did not work. You were going through something at the time, and you can do an authentic real text saying, hey, when we met, I was going through some stuff, and I’d really like to reconnect with you.
But the majority of the time, the reason you need to lose or delete someone’s number is because it wasn’t there, the connection wasn’t there, the romance wasn’t there, the magical feeling wasn’t there.
And the problem is that far too many people go through it, and they dislike the dating process. Dating is not something they enjoy doing.
Dating has always been an opportunity for me to be single and alone, to get to know myself better and to love myself even more.
And I’ll meet someone I’ve never met before.
That is the allure of dating.
Allow it to go!
So, when you have the opportunity to reconnect with someone, reconnect with someone in whom you might be interested, not with someone with whom you tried to have a relationship but it did not work out for a variety of reasons.
You are still the same person, and they are the same person. You’ll still have the same problems and triggers. Nothing will ever change unless both of you have gone through extensive therapy and have changed.
Do you get it? Good. So stop bothering people and freaking them out all the time.
When a relationship ends, it ends. Let it go. Allow it to go.
