6 Key Tips for Transitioning From Online to Real Life

1. Take Action And Maintain Momentum: One of the most important things I tell people who are dating online is to meet with people as soon as possible. Don’t exchange emails for the next two weeks. Don’t wait ten days to give someone your phone number. If you’re interested in someone, keep in mind that online dating is a game of momentum. The person in question may be corresponding with six, seven, or ten other people. You want to be the one who stands out from the crowd. You want to be the person who is always on the go.

So, the minute you’ve exchanged two emails, get a phone number, talk on the phone, and set up a meeting. Set up something straightforward. Let’s grab a cup of coffee. Take your dog for a walk. Choose something simple.

Online dating is numerical dating. So, instead of exchanging emails or phone calls with someone, schedule your first meeting. That is not something you want to do. If you’re emailing back and forth with someone and enjoying it, call them because momentum is everything. You will lose momentum if you continue to just email back and forth.

2. Real Chemistry Occurs In Person: One issue with online dating is that most of the time you will not have the chemistry with someone in person that you do over the phone or via email, so keep your first meeting simple. You want the meeting to go quickly, and you want to make sure that you both drive to the meeting location so that you can leave when you want to.

Once you’ve decided to meet, choose a location, such as a coffee shop, or an activity, such as going for a walk, where you can both meet. Never have dinner on the first date.

Chemistry is all about voice and physical presence, so never engage in these email marathon sessions with someone before meeting them. When you finally meet that person, you will most likely be disappointed. You need to realize that the faster you get together for that first meeting, the faster you are going to find out whether or not this is someone who is really worth your time. Just as with emails, don’t waste two hours on the phone with someone you haven’t met in person. Remember that you haven’t met them yet, and when you call, talk only long enough to establish that you might have some chemistry before scheduling your first meeting.

It is worth repeating that most of the time you will not have the chemistry with someone in person that you do with them on the phone.

3. Include the Right Photos in Your Profile: The minimum number of photos you should include in your online profile is five, and each of those photos must be current. Three of those five photographs must be full-body shots. Your photographs on your online profile should be taken in such a way that you are clearly visible in them. Don’t post any of these ridiculous photos where you are so far away in the distance that you are completely unrecognizable, but the picture shows you skydiving or something.

Don’t post pictures of yourself from a distance at a dinner table surrounded by ten of your friends. Each of your photos should clearly show who you are and what you stand for. You must appear in all of the photos you post. Don’t just post pictures of your dog or a waterfall you saw on your last trip to Hawaii. Your online profile is not a brochure for a travel agency. Show clear photos of you with your dog or on vacation in Hawaii instead.

4. Look Within Your Area First: Another tip for a successful transition from online to real life is to look within your own geographic area first. Sending winks to people 3,000 miles away is not a good idea. It’s ludicrous. Search within your own geographic area. Begin by restricting your search to a 25-mile radius.

Now, don’t do that for one day and then declare that there is no one in your area to meet with in order to give yourself permission to broaden your search area. Instead, continue to look within that same mile radius. Respect other people’s boundaries if you live somewhere where there aren’t many women or men.

Also, don’t waste time connecting with someone who says they want to meet someone within a ten-mile radius of where they live when you live 500 miles away.

You wouldn’t want someone wasting your time, so don’t waste other people’s. It is critical to be as time efficient as possible when dating online. If you do this, you will be able to go out and meet more people. So be mindful of other people’s boundaries.

5. Remember to “Reapply”: When dating online, it is important to remember that meeting someone online is similar to going to a giant singles bar. So just because you contacted someone a month (or two or three months) ago and they did not respond does not mean they are or would not be interested in you.

There could be a million reasons why they did not respond to you the first time. They could have been involved with someone else. They could have had their profile online but never checked it. They could have simply received a flood of emails on the day you sent yours, and your message became “lost in the shuffle.” So, if you are still interested in someone who did not respond to you, it is perfectly acceptable to “reapply” in online dating.

When reapplying online, there are a few key points to keep in mind. To begin, never reapply with the same email address you used the first time. Enter something unique and entertaining.

Do not bring up the fact that the person did not respond the first time you approached them. Also, only reapply once. Do not use the concept of “reapplying” as an excuse to begin online stalking someone.

6. Make Your Contacts Real Conversations: The goal of online dating is to start a conversation. Many people don’t realize it’s all about starting a conversation. So, before you contact someone, go over their profile. It’s critical to start a conversation with someone you see online by mentioning something substantive about their profile that you liked or noticed.

Remember that when that person (and presumably all people who create a profile) wrote their profile, they did so in order to communicate certain details about themselves to you. That is, they provided you with information so that they could initiate a conversation with you.

So, imagine yourself in someone’s shoes after reading their profile. Read it aloud so you can hear their voice tone, and then send the first couple of questions that come to mind to that person. It will make for the start of a real conversation with them so you can see if they are someone you want to get to know better and to meet.

These tips will make your online dating experience far more rewarding and enjoyable, and will assist you in finally meeting people online who you want to get to know in the real world.

It’s about being unique and not being the same as everyone else who is looking for love online.

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