Meeting someone who helps you become a better version of yourself.
That is exactly what love is. Meeting someone who helps you become a better version of yourself.
One of the best feelings is being with someone who completely believes in you.
Fully supports what you stand for.
Challenges you on things that are harmful to you.
One of the things I feel in my relationships is the inner Haleen (for those of you who don’t know Haleen, she’s my mother).
My mother would literally lose her marbles when she felt her life was spinning out of control.
She’d go batshit insane all over the place.
She’d be terrified.
She’d spew words all over the place.
She exuded doom and gloom.
Everything was wrong, and nothing would ever be right. The entire world was conspiring against her.
She would spiral deeper and deeper into it. And I kept watching it over and over again.
I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid. So whenever something went wrong in my life, I would sink deep into depression.
I’d immediately assume the worst.
Everything would seem to go wrong to me.
It was the end of time.
And I’d be channeling my inner Haleen.
I’d spiral so deep that it’d take me hours to get out, which stinks.
But at the very least, I got out of it. For days, weeks, and months, my mother would spiral out of control. She was literally on medication and was borderline and depressed.
But with me, I channeled that energy, that negativity from my mother, and I channeled that behavior.
Even though I’d get out of it a few hours later, 10 minutes later, the next day, it was still a very destructive emotional behavior.
But I have someone in my life who has witnessed me doing that. And when I do that, she has given me the skills to literally un-channel the inner Haleen.
Why?
As a result of her love and support.
Because of her comprehension. Because of her knowledge. Most importantly, she does not want me to be that version of myself.
That version of me doesn’t serve me as a human being. That version of myself serves no purpose.
In fact, that version of myself is extremely self-destructive. So she’s shown me how to not do that behavior that I’ve done so many times before through her nurturing and beautiful loving heart.
That is the definition of love. Love is literally showing one another how to handle things in life differently than you did previously so you don’t engage in the destructive behavior that plagued you previously.
That is the essence of a lovely adult relationship.
And that’s exactly what I’m experiencing right now with the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. Someone I recognize for who they are. I accept someone for who they are. Someone who is amazing in their own right. Someone whose fears and baggage are fascinating to explore and support.
