I almost always hear comments like this from women: I saw this guy today and he was so cute. He smiled at me, and I wished I could have returned his smile or said hello, but I was too hot from leaving the gym.” Statements like this irritate me because I despise seeing women miss out on so many potential connections on a daily basis.
So, all the women out there, it’s time to stop making excuses for themselves. Here are four reasons why you should stop doing this right now:
Your “reasons” are nothing more than excuses: Read the first sentence of this article again. You must understand that everything that comes after the “but” is an excuse. In fact, if you left a blank after the “but” in that sentence, I could come up with at least a hundred different excuses, all of which are similar to the “but I was all sweaty” one above. I’ve heard them all, but here are a few classics:
My hair was pulled back into a ponytail.
That day, I didn’t feel sexy.
I was having a particularly fatty day.
I was dressed in an unflattering manner.
I didn’t have any makeup on.
I smelled like coffee.
I had food in my mouth and was chewing.
I was on the phone.
The list of reasons could go on and on…
Do you see how ridiculous they sound when I list them this way? The bottom line is that you need to stop thinking of these things as legitimate “reasons” and start accepting them for what they truly are: excuses.
Men Do Not Notice What You Think They Do: But here’s something you must understand, and it’s something I’ve been telling women for years: If a man looks at you, he is attracted to you at that precise moment. He doesn’t care (and probably doesn’t know) if you’re sweaty, not wearing makeup, wearing an old t-shirt that’s a size twelve too big for you, or anything else.
If They Look, They Like You: If a man looks at you when you’re not at your best (or even when you’re at your worst), he’s attracted to you right then and there, exactly as you are. Although he may be imagining (and fantasising about) what you will look like at your best, he doesn’t really care because all he can think about right now is how much he is attracted to you.
Consider this. Isn’t this what you truly desire? Don’t you want a guy who checks you out in Blockbuster on a Friday night when you’re dressed in your old sweatpants, your hair pulled back in a ponytail, and you’re not wearing any makeup? It’s always what you say you want. It’s what women consistently tell me they want. You don’t want to have to be perfectly made up and coiffed every minute of your life. When you’re in the comfort of your own home, you don’t want to have to get dressed up. You want a guy who is drawn to the true essence of who you are as a person.
Excuses cause you to miss out on opportunities: So, the next time a guy looks at you and you’re not feeling your best, remember that he doesn’t realise it. All he can think is, “Man, I think she’s hot!” Go talk to him right now because you might not get another chance with that guy. Why would you pass up the chance to find out what this guy is all about… especially since you already know he likes you? Every day in life is about taking advantage of opportunities. Stop making excuses because all of your “reasons” for not interacting with men are just that: excuses.
When you think about it that way, why would you ever make another excuse for not smiling or conversing with a guy who is staring at you? You should never use the fact that you are not feeling well as an excuse for not responding to a guy who is looking at you, because excuses are just that.
So, the next time you see a potential Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now) staring at you from across the room while you’re still in your gym sweatpants, smile and talk to him because he couldn’t care less what you’re wearing! He’s attracted to you and will most likely spend the rest of the day telling his friends, “Man, I saw this girl tonight in Whole Foods. She was wearing these sweatpants and she looked adorable!”
Stop judging yourself so harshly and begin to accept that when a man looks at you, he finds you attractive exactly as you are at the time. Stop overthinking and start feeling beautiful because the guy looked you up.
