Modern Dating’s Fear of Commitment

I almost feel like we should all channel our inner Shakespeare.

“To be or not to be?” used to be the question.

Nowadays, in the modern world of swipes, e-mails, and pointless texting…

This is the new question that is plaguing modern dating.”

The question is whether to commit or not to commit.

There was a time when a boy and a girl met.

Boy is well aware that he has never met a girl like her before.

Girl has the same sentiment.

Then going to bars and restaurants.

Grocery stores, hoping for a fortunate amazing moment.

They both dated people who weren’t particularly memorable.

Then they ran into each other.

And they were well aware of it! They realized right away that this person was unique.

They could feel it. They could feel it in their bones. They felt it in their stomachs and in their hearts.

The boy, being the boy he used to be, called the girl and set up a date. They went on a date, and it quickly became an endless conversation. They knew they wanted to learn everything they could about each other.

They took turns listening to each other’s stories.

They listened to one another’s stories.

And they literally kept thanking the universe for the chance to finally meet that wonderful person.

What happened after that? They committed to each other right away.

They had arrived!

They were relieved that they had finally met someone after all the duds.

They were ecstatic!

Were there issues that needed to be addressed? Absolutely. Were there any misunderstandings or disagreements? Sure. But they were committed to getting to know one another because they realized, in their instinctual mind, soul, and heart, that they had met someone they had never met before, and they were fully embracing it.

Man and woman.

Boy and girl fell in love right away.

They began dating almost immediately.

That’s exactly how it used to be.

There was no discussion of whether or not we were committed.

They just had a feeling. The words you chose were mushy, warm, and romantic from the start.

You were open, receptive, and on the same wavelength as me.

And now we have modern dating.

Swiping is becoming repulsive, in my opinion.

What about the magic I just described? It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?

But now it’s a whole different story, because we’re dealing with a choice paradox. We have the illusion that there are so many people out there for us to meet.

It’s almost — and I’ve said it a hundred times — like shopping on Amazon for men and women. The only thing missing are customer testimonials.

But we’re going out with someone right now. And what are we going to do?

We’ll just look to see what’s wrong with them first, because the world of swiping has given us the illusion that we can simply find someone better.

We’ll go out with them, but when we get home, we’ll check our little swipe in box to see if anyone else has appeared, because we believe we can find perfect.

We have this illusion that there is an infinite supply of people to meet, so why settle for the first one, or the hundredth? Because, isn’t that how society is right now, that we’ll eventually find the one we want? We have been marketed to death, and we believe that we can always find the perfect situation, the perfect car, the perfect house, the perfect everything, and that if we don’t, we can just keep going.

Dating has become a disposable commodity in our society. We don’t give a damn about each other’s feelings any longer. In fact, all we want to do is continue to maintain the illusion of choice that we believe we have when it comes to swiping for love.

It’s all a trick of the light.

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