But, even if you are approached frequently, do you ever find that you are not being approached by the type of guys you want to be approached by? There’s an even better option: ladies, you can approach the guys as well!
I know plenty of guys who are great catches; in reality, they are commanding men, exactly the type of men you want to meet, but they will never approach you in public. Why?
Because meeting and getting to know people in a random public place is simply not part of their social norm. As a result, they don’t do it—not because they don’t want to talk to you, but simply because it’s something they’ve never done before. This is especially true for many European men.
I also know many men who simply do not approach women, even in a bar or club setting or at a party—places where most people would—because they have never learned how to, or they have a bit of social anxiety (we all do to some extent), or they simply lack the confidence to go after what they want.
That doesn’t mean they’re not good guys; in fact, for many women, the shyer, introspective types are more appealing and a better match than the dominant, fearless types. Ladies, you understand what I mean.
So, how do you go about doing this? Very straightforward. Just like we teach men how to start a conversation with women, you make an observation based on what’s going on around you and tell the guy about it.
There’s another advantage to this: because women are far less threatening than men, and men are generally dumb and unassuming, you can say pretty much anything you want without appearing to be “picking him up”!
Asking a question or asking for help with something is the best way to start a conversation with a man. He’ll be overjoyed that he’s coming to your aid and will be overjoyed that he was able to assist you.
Ask a guy for directions somewhere, or tell him you’re looking for a nice restaurant or shopping spot in the area and see if he can recommend any.
If you’re in a restaurant, find out what the guys at the table next to you are eating. Tell him you’re unsure what to order and that his food looks delicious. He’ll tell you everything and assist you with the menu because guys love to be the guy who comes to the rescue.
If you’re standing near the bar and want to order a drink, you can say something as simple as, “What are you drinking? That appears to be intriguing.”
If you see a guy reading a book while waiting for the underground or a train, ask him what book he’s reading or tell him the cover looks interesting.
I saw a woman ask a man what he was reading while waiting for the metro in Washington, DC, just yesterday, and they talked all the way into the underground car and beyond.
“Geez, won’t it appear like I’m completely desperate or being way too forward?” you may be thinking right now. No, the answer is no. You’ll appear to be doing nothing more than striking up a friendly conversation.
It’s not the 1950s anymore. There are no rules in dating or single life; you can do and say whatever you want to a man. In fact, I have several girlfriends who are constantly approached by men, but the men they usually end up with (and are the happiest with) are the ones who actively chose to introduce themselves and go talk to first.
Most men would be flattered, and many would be relieved, to see that you took the initiative and summoned the courage to approach them!
This, however, does not absolve you of responsibility. “Well, if she was interested in me, she would approach me,” a man should never say. The women you desire will not simply fall into your lap.
You must put yourself out there and pursue your goals with complete vulnerability and honesty. That’s the only way you’ll get good at this. Staying in your comfort zone and waiting for the ladies to approach you is the worst thing you can do.
